. (allumeuse) wrote,
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allumeuse

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<3doing retarded things on the internet instead of studying for history<3




KYAN: AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO TODAY, GIRLS!

STEP 1: FASHION
CARSON: ERNEST HONEY I KNOW MAYBE UGLY THICK TURTLENECK SWEATERS WERE COOL BACK IN THE "DAY" OR WHATEVER BUT THIS IS 2004, GIRL!!! HEHEHEHE SEE I AM CALLING YOU GIRL IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE I AM A HOMOSEXUAL MALE WHO IS INTIMIDATED BY A STRAIGHT MAN WHO COULD AND SHOULD KICK MY ASS. SINCE YOUR MASCULINITY IS WRONG AND BAD WE HAVE PUT YOU IN SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE FABULOUS. THE AVIATORS LOOK REAL GOOD ON YOU ERNIE BABE.

STEP 2: GROOMING
KYAN: OK FIRST I WENT OVER YOUR ENTIRE FACE WITH A SHEA BUTTER VAMPIRE BAT GUAPO CLEANSING SCRUB, FOLLOWED BY SOME ESTEE LAUDER WRINKLE CREAM.
CARSON: HEY ISN'T ESTEE LAUDER FOR GIRLS?
KYAN: SO ARE DICKS BUT THAT NEVER STOPPED US. ANYWAY ERNIE YOU LOOK FABULOUS I SHAVED OFF THAT ICKY BEARD AND LEFT YOU WITH A CUUUUTE GOATEE! OH AND I UPDATED THAT TIRED OLD HAIRCUT WITH A NICE FAUXHAWK. FABULOUS!

STEP 3: CULTURE
JAI: ERNEST HONEY YOU HAVE LOTS TO LEARN FROM ME. FIRST, YOU NEED TO QUIT BEING SO SAD ALL THE TIME!!!!!! TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN HONEY. AND I THINK YOU SHOULD REALLY WORK ON YOUR CHOICES OF LEISURE ACTIVITIES. I MEAN, WHY GO OUT HUNTING? YOU MIGHT GET MUD ON YOUR NEW VON DUTCH T-SHIRT. JUST STAY INSIDE AND LISTEN TO MADONNA SILLY. FINALLY, YOU REALLY NEED TO WORK ON THAT WHOLE "KILLING YOURSELF IN THE STAIRWELL SO YOUR WIFE FINDS YOUR DEAD BODY" THING. I MEAN, IT'S REALLY INCONSIDERATE, AND YOU COULD STAIN THE HALLWAY CARPET THAT WE JUST TAUGHT YOU HOW TO CLEAN!

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